Some tough love:
Something needs to change in how you handle your interpersonal interactions. And taking no action is not an option.
Over the last few months, I’ve seen or experienced poor customer service from junior and mid-level staff in other organisations. Still, I attributed the unprofessional attitudes and behaviours to their limited professional experience.
After all, managers, your twenties and thirties were periods when you got some sympathy for the errors made. Communication blunders were almost a rite of passage in corporateville. Remember those cringeworthy fallouts that played out in unfortunate email trails or during one-on-one ‘disagreements’ (aka biting verbal exchanges)?
Still, as you navigated tense moments over the years, you learned, willingly or otherwise, that certain behaviours didn’t bode well with peers, supervisors and subordinates.
Now, given multiple channels customers use to lodge complaints (emails, telephone calls, social media, and formal letters), you should know better. Because of your significant experience and mistakes you’d learned from over the years, it’s surprising that you’re sometimes the worst perpetrators of poor interpersonal behaviours.
Based on what I’ve observed in corporateville over the last five years, I believe there is a crisis of incivility at work. As a result, managers, you’d need to discard the toxic attitudes and behaviours you’ve developed over the years so that you can be trained on effective communication, beginning with interpersonal communication. And at the core of healthy interpersonal relationships is professional courtesy.
Therefore, dear managers, below are two significant points you should note about this key attribute:
1) Professional courtesy in the workplace is NOT a privilege to be dispensed
I know you’ve worked hard to get to your current position. You may also have been burned a few times by being nice. Yes, people took advantage of you and mistook your even-tempered, collaborative nature for granted. Understandably, over time, you erected walls and focused on only those who supported you.
For example, Lisa in Sales, who ghosted you when you needed important data that only she could provide? Ignore her 10 calls and urgent WhatsApp messages when she needs your input on a time-sensitive task.
What about Peter in Accounting, who promised to teach you how to use that new software, but who, at the last minute, became too busy to help? Deliberately ignore his email for three days. Then, respond at 4:58 p.m. on day four to explain how swamped you are with a big project, and unfortunately, you can’t help him. The icing on the payback cake? Offer no suggestions, even though you know someone who could bail him out.
Displaying professional courtesy in season and out of season is difficult. However, promoting psychological safety and nurturing trust among your peers and subordinates is necessary. Although you may be justified in your uncharitable behaviours towards the undeserving party, remember this:
As a manager, you can influence staff retention or trigger attrition by your professionalism or lack thereof.
Competent managers extend professional courtesy, which includes:
a) Speaking respectfully to all, regardless of rank or status
b) Displaying appropriate nonverbal cues in one-to-one or one-to-group interactions (e.g., smiling, nodding, and avoiding behaviours that may be perceived as standoffish in the prevailing culture, such as folding arms and rolling eyes)
c) Responding to emails within 24 hours, or at the latest, 48 hours (unless there’s limited access to internet coverage)
d) Writing clear emails using the appropriate tone
e) Respecting boundaries (so not demanding that calls and messages be handled outside work hours or at weekends) and, if an emergency occurs, then apologising for the intrusion before making the request
f) Addressing complaints in a semi-formal style, using neutral language devoid of accusations and emotionally charged expressions. (For example: ‘It’s unfair to state that…’, and ‘I find it unfortunate that…’)
g) Disagreeing with tact (e.g., ‘I recommend…’, ‘I’m concerned that…’, and ‘Could we consider another option for…?’)
h) Ensuring their word is their bond, so doing what they said they would, or providing alternatives
Even if you believe that you regularly extend professional courtesy to others in the workplace, realise that a simple but powerful shift will cement your efforts:
Professional courtesy is not a privilege you extend to a deserving party. It’s a non-negotiable attribute that management expects you to display because of your maturity and influence.
So, fake it if you must. But if your interpersonal problems increase due to a lack of professional courtesy, complaints will pour in from different quarters. As a result, colleagues will decline to collaborate with you, and the performance of your direct reports will dwindle because of quiet quitting. Consequently, management, fed up with the unfavourable reports, may demote you, move you to a ‘dull’ unit or get rid of you altogether.
Think about what’s at stake for a moment.
2) Professional courtesy is critical when dealing with external clients
You may be considered toxic by your peers or subordinates in your organisation because of your poor interpersonal skills.
But it’s worse to be labelled unprofessional by outsiders. Realise that their negative perception of you extends to the organisation you represent, causing reputational damage that your employer won’t tolerate.
If in doubt, learn from the real-life scenario below.
Case Study: X Bank Manager’s Nonexistent Professional Courtesy
Recently, I requested that my bank update my accounts with a new address. I wrote the usual letters and emailed them to the officer in charge of my accounts, Ms R. She then requested some confidential information in an email, which I communicated my reservations about, but I complied with other requests. However, she mentioned some administrative purpose instead of explaining why the sensitive details were required. She also made it clear that without the information, my accounts could not be updated with the new information.
I’d held accounts at that bank for over nine years, and in that time, I’d had frustrating interactions with Ms R. Therefore, I wasn’t surprised by her nonchalant attitude. So, I decided to ask for advice from the bank manager, Ms S, who was helpful in the past, and who, at least, would respond by text.
But last week, the situation was different. I called the bank manager, Ms S, but she didn’t respond. I thought nothing of it and sent an SMS asking for quick clarification. Then I waited and waited. When I received no response via telephone, text or email, I’d had enough.
I then contacted a zonal manager of the bank, Ms T, who was on a higher grade than Ms S. I explained my predicament and declared that because of the unprofessional way my concerns were handled, I’d considered closing all my accounts in the bank. Ms T swiftly apologised for the poor service I received and explained the reason the bank needed the confidential information at the backend, which I understood. Her explanation took less than one minute and was logical. Ms T then offered to personally follow up until my accounts were updated. She also requested the names and contact details of Ms R and Ms S so that she could discuss with them privately.
Ms T kept to her word, and eventually, the update I requested was completed. In an email, I thanked Ms T for her intervention and provided the contact details of Ms R and Ms S, which she had requested. I also expressed my displeasure at the lack of professional courtesy displayed by the two officials and politely requested an apology from the bank manager. Finally, I said I’d appreciate a new officer being assigned to my accounts. (I had endured the unprofessional conduct from Ms R for years and decided I didn’t need to be subjected to poor service anymore).
The behaviour of Ms S, the bank manager, reinforced my observations about the unfortunate trend I now see in corporateville. When customers escalate issues to managers for their attention and subsequent resolution, the aggrieved are handled like an inconvenience or a trouble to be tolerated or avoided.
As a manager, realise that your role entails managing people and processes to ensure customer satisfaction and optimal performance in your unit. You achieve these results by combining your functional skills with professional courtesy.
Therefore, if a client brings an issue to your attention, please note what not to do.
I) Don’t assume that the matter is frivolous
Even if someone else can handle the issue, professional courtesy demands you respond to the customer’s enquiry before delegating it to a subordinate for action.
II) Don’t remain selective about whom you help
Your decision to solve problems should not be contingent on the class or perceived influence of the person requesting help.
Your direct reports mirror your attitudes and behaviours, so don’t set a bad example for them.
III) Don’t delay responding within 24 hours
At the very least, acknowledge the email within that timeframe and assure the other party you will follow up. Also, give prompt and factual feedback.
IV) Don’t become defensive or declare why/how something cannot be done
If a customer/client communicates a concern or requests clarification, provide the information. Don’t hide behind your administrative rules or procedures and claim nothing can be done.
Also, don’t expect your responses to be sufficient without addressing the rationale behind them.
V) Don’t adopt an impolite, abrasive or unhelpful tone
In a nutshell, you’re the chief customer service officer of your department.
You should be the sane voice to calm the storm when dissatisfied clients threaten to withdraw their business or subordinates lose their way.
Learn from the case study of Ms S. Professional courtesy insulates you from queries about your performance and reputation from your organisation’s management. Why self-sabotage your career advancement?
Conclusion
On the surface, professional courtesy seems like a minor issue to overlook.
However, it shapes the perceptions of your professionalism and maturity inside the organisation. It also enhances your work relationships and signals to management that you can be trusted with leadership roles.
Outside the organisation, your professional courtesy reflects well on your organisation, amplifies your credibility, and drives commendations that will make management notice.
Bottom line?
When you complement professional courtesy with your technical capabilities, you’ll differentiate yourself from peers and become memorable.
Over to you:
Do you need help boosting your speaking, interpersonal or business writing skills to influence people and get results?
Then, sign up here for my free quarterly newsletters and learn best practices. When you sign up, you’ll receive my evergreen resource on giving persuasive presentations. Ensure you download and refer to that document before any high-stakes speech or presentation.
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N.B: First and last images are courtesy of Daniel Mena via Pixabay. Second image is courtesy of Gerd Altmann via Pixabay. Last image is courtesy of Pete Linforth Pixabay.