I saw the pre-programme brief, and I nodded.
I was scheduled to deliver two sessions on nonverbal and interpersonal communication skills in a management development programme. Twenty-four mid-level executives from a leading health management provider in Lagos, Nigeria, had signed up for sessions and completed the pre-programme questionnaire. My eagle eyes zeroed in on one of the desirables for my sessions: managing the younger generation.
With the insights from the prospective participants on the need to hone their interpersonal skills, I designed the programme to be relevant and interactive.
I’ve noticed that organisations are increasingly requesting interpersonal skills training in workshops, seminars, and programmes. And I know why.
With the re-emergence of the discourse on employee disengagement, skillfully re-packaged as ‘quiet quitting’—and we’ve got the pandemic to ‘thank’ for the trend—people are re-assessing their priorities. Those who have decided to focus on their family life and other commitments have quit. And those who can’t leave, for whatever reasons, have simply found ways to modify their work and manage their stress levels. They’ve developed coping mechanisms for dealing with toxic supervisors/bosses and demanding workloads. ‘Quiet quitting’ might not be new, but it’s still negatively impacting relationships at work. Employees are ‘checking out’ mentally and are withholding discretionary efforts that aid productivity. They are getting the barest minimum done and are unapologetic about it.
But here’s the thing:
While external factors might trigger the drive for ‘quiet quitting’ (pandemic, global recession etc.), executives and unit heads can help reduce the tendency for direct reports to become disengaged by improving their interpersonal skills. The starting point involves two elements: honing their listening skills and empowering their colleagues to do their best work so they find meaning in their contributions.
My sessions were well-received, and I was fortunate to receive feedback that reflected the programme’s usefulness. But more importantly, I gleaned two critical insights from my interactions with the executives.
1) ‘Open’ body language behaviours boost trust
First, it was pertinent to create an awareness of the impact of body language on people’s perceptions.
To spur discussions, I played Mark Bowden’s insightful TEDx talk on the importance of being ‘inauthentic’ with your body language. The overall premise of the video is that you should become intentional about displaying ‘open’ body language behaviours to trigger trust.
After participants could identify ‘open’/‘warm’ body language cues (e.g. open hands and smiling) and ‘closed’/’cold’ behaviours (e.g. frowning and a closed body position), I tackled three aspects: gestures, voice (volume, pitch, and tone), and facial expressions (eye contact and micro-expressions).
Next, I introduced a group activity. I divided the class into groups and gave them a practical work scenario to discuss. Then, each group had to choose two members to ‘act out’ the scenario to the rest of the class for three minutes. After each group’s presentation, the other participants commented on what they learned from the ‘actors’. The executives explained how the displayed body language led to trust/distrust. They also suggested ways the ‘actors’ could have improved the relationships by changing their body language cues. Each acting stint was recorded in class and shared with the participants after the programme.
Knowing how tweaking, even slightly, their body language behaviours could boost trust and reduce conflict was an eye-opener for the executives.
Finally, I challenged them to become intentional about their nonverbal communication by modifying/revising some aspects of their body language to improve their work relationships.
I could see the metaphorical lightbulb go off in their heads.
They got it.
2) The three ‘rules’ of effective communication dispel ambiguity and help you connect
In the second session on interpersonal communication, I began by championing my three rules of effective communication. These three rules were unveiled on this blog many years ago (I’ve been blogging monthly since 2012) and detailed in my bestselling book ‘Influence and Thrive’. They remain relevant to executives because they lay the foundation for effective communication.
Rule #1: Know your audience
Rule #2: Prioritise the three ‘beacons’: simplicity, brevity, and clarity
Rule #3: Give timely and factual feedback
It would be impossible to improve interpersonal relationships if you don’t address these three rules in some fashion in your one-on-one or one-to-many interactions.
Again, I divided the class into groups and gave them a new scenario to deliberate on. As I did in the first session, I requested each group to choose two members to act out the scenario to the rest of the class. They were to tweak their communication and use the three rules as a guide to communicating effectively to get the desired outcome.
What followed were entertaining stints that led to laughs and applause. Nonetheless, the exercise was powerful. And here’s why: It demonstrated that tailoring communication to the audience, keeping messages simple, concise, and clear (with a call-to-action), and giving feedback, dispelled ambiguity. As a result, the participants connected better with others and became more persuasive.
The bottom line, which the executives understood, was that excellent communication strengthened interpersonal relationships.
Conclusion
Now, credible, open body language behaviours and effective communication might not be enough to correct all interpersonal woes.
And for executives, managing younger generations might be difficult. After all—as a concerned participant asked in class—how do you handle a millennial who, despite your best efforts, including approving a flexible work schedule, does the barest minimum to stay on the payroll?
After suggesting that the executive considers switching to the communication channel the younger colleague preferred (e.g. an app instead of face-to-face discussions), I conceded that she might still not win over her younger direct reports all the time.
Nevertheless, given that interpersonal conflicts and poor manager-direct report relationships often stem from weak communication, executives should become intentional in their interactions. For instance, if they tweak their body language to coax trust and adhere to the three rules of effective communication, they demonstrate that they care about their colleagues.
So as an executive who’s desirous of leading productive teams and increasing productivity, you should note this:
People who feel valued, empowered, and treated with respect are unlikely to leave or withhold valuable contributions to your unit.
Think about that for a minute.
Do you need help with your interpersonal communication skills?
I love working with ambitious professionals, executives, entrepreneurs, and business leaders.
You already know my approach, my credibility, and my experience. So kindly get in touch. Let’s explore how my transformational communication coaching and training services will catapult you to success in your career or business.
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N.B: First image is courtesy of Gerd Altmann via Paxabay. Second image is courtesy of Sabine Kroschel via Pixabay. Last image is courtesy of Peggy and Marco Lachmann-Anke via Pixabay.