{"id":4212,"date":"2023-01-31T18:52:05","date_gmt":"2023-01-31T17:52:05","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/lucilleossai.com\/blog\/?p=4212"},"modified":"2023-03-15T13:14:50","modified_gmt":"2023-03-15T12:14:50","slug":"off-to-university-practise-four-simple-communication-principles-to-succeed","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lucilleossai.com\/blog\/2023\/01\/31\/off-to-university-practise-four-simple-communication-principles-to-succeed\/","title":{"rendered":"Off to University? Practise Four Simple Communication Principles To Succeed"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
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It happened a few weeks ago.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

My first son, Jason C. Ossai, left us to begin a new phase of his life at the University of Massachusetts Lowell, USA.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He left the shores of Nigeria, the country he’d known for almost 19 years, for the land of his birth.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

On that Sunday, our entire family, including my mother, accompanied him to the airport in Lagos. We helped to check him in (after the usual chaos of transferring items into a third suitcase to adhere to weight limits). We saw him through the process, gave him a big group hug, and watched him head to the boarding gate. He was clad in his winter garb\u2014we heard about the weather\u2014had his backpack and his laptop bag secure, and within seconds, he disappeared. He didn’t even look back once.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And something in me shifted.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

My eyes stung, and the silent tears came. I swallowed hard and surreptitiously wiped them away. My family knows that I’m not usually outwardly emotional.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

My mum looked at me with compassion.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

‘It’s OK, Lucille’, she assured me gently.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And for a moment, I understood how she must have felt some 26 years ago when I (and later, subsequent siblings) left Nigeria for the UK to begin university studies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, the only difference was that Jason, being a US citizen, was unlikely to return to Nigeria soon after his studies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The United States is the ultimate land of dreams, and my son has big dreams. As clich\u00e9 as it sounds, the world is his oyster. He’s going to do great things in tech. I know it. He would want to explore opportunities in the West, as he should.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So those heartfelt airport goodbyes felt…final.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

My husband put a consoling arm around my shoulder. I dared not look at him for fear that the torrent of tears would burst forth to overwhelm me. I was barely keeping my composure. I repeatedly told myself Jason would be fine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

My two other children, a 15-year-old teenager (whom I realised would go through a similar scenario in a few years), and a six-year-old, sensed my internal battle. They gave me long, tight hugs.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

‘It’s OK, Mummy’, they cooed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I was excited for my son, yet sad.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I was thrilled because Jason was looking forward to his undergraduate studies in computer science at the university. Being rather skilled in soccer, he was also hoping to join the school’s soccer team, the renowned River Hawks. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

But I was sad because he had left the nest and there would be a void in my family that logic couldn’t fill.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Before my son left for university, I had given his communication tips, which he took little note of. But I get it: A lot was going on in the weeks before he left with massive information being shared.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, two weeks into his university life, he began to see the usefulness of some of the communication advice given. Speaking clearly, asking questions, requesting feedback, and writing essays are now tasks he\u2019s required to do. And he now understands why I harp on effective communication.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So if you’re off to university\/college, below are four communication principles you should cultivate to get ahead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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1) Listen attentively first, then ask questions<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
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Be slow to speak \u2014 at the beginning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Listen actively so you understand processes clearly, know what is required of you, and how you should proceed. More importantly, you’d avoid making assumptions that could lead to mistakes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Right from the beginning of his international trip, Jason realised how important it was to be attentive. For example, the boarding gate information changed while he was waiting. If he hadn’t been listening and been alert (instead of browsing the internet or listening to music), he might not have heard the announcement. But he did, then asked questions, so he easily followed the right group and boarded the plane successfully. It was his first time travelling alone on a 12-hour long-distance flight. If he missed that flight to Washington DC, he wouldn\u2019t have boarded the connecting flight to Boston the next day. Consequently, he would have missed the orientation activities two days later. (The next direct flight from Lagos to Washington DC was the week after). Not listening or asking the right questions would have led to losing out on important university functions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As an incoming student, active listening is invaluable to your personal development. Not only is it useful when handling the rigour of your academic work, but it sharpens your understanding and builds critical reasoning skills.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The more you listen, the quicker you understand, question arguments, and form collaborations.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Cultivate this skill of active listening from your time at university, and years later, you’d reap the benefits in your career or business.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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2) Speak clearly<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
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My son grew up speaking English in Nigeria, so he’s a native English speaker who has a non-US ‘accent’. I told him that it didn’t matter that he won’t sound like other Americans. What is important is that he speaks clearly and audibly and that he enunciates his words. I also stressed one point: He should speak louder and slower than he usually does so that people understand him quickly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Whether you’re an international student or a native of the country where you’d be studying in, increasing your volume when speaking is a useful communication technique. It reduces filler words (e.g. ‘er’, ‘so’, ‘you know’), forces you to slow down, and helps you articulate your thoughts better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As a female student, an increased volume helps you to sound more confident. As a male student whose voice has broken, speaking at a higher volume means that your words don’t get swallowed up<\/em> at the end of your sentences.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Speaking clearly and audibly (and this is true at the workplace) increases your confidence and makes you appear smart. It also coaxes people to take you seriously.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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3) Watch your nonverbal behaviours<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
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Your body language matters.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Whether it’s sitting up straight, maintaining eye contact, offering a handshake, or walking purposefully, what your body communicates can open doors for you or lose you opportunities.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Body language experts such as Mark Bowden<\/a> and Amy Cuddy<\/a> explain how to use your nonverbal cues to trigger trust, increase self-confidence, and get results.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But below are simple nonverbal cues and behaviours that can work wonders:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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